Some things just are; they’re absolute. The moon will always rise, the sun will always set, the hot water will run cold in the shower as soon as my head is good and soapy, my mother will always nag, Steel Magnolias will always make me cry, Absolutely Fabulous will always make me laugh, and I will always question everything. Why is that? Oh crap there I go again. Why can’t I stop? See, it’s a sickness really. I’ll give you a few examples. I’ll only give you a few for fear you’ll see just how far my sickness goes:
Why are infomercials on only late at night? Is the plan that people will be tired thus lowering their ability for rational thought? Do they realize that the people asleep at those times are probably the ones that can afford the 6 easy payments of $69.95 for the thingamabob that’s not only a vegetable chopper and fruit juicer, but could improve your television reception and become the newest fad collectable? I mean they have to wake up in the morning for work. So really what you’re left with that late are sleepless fools like me, and the occasional college student with no money who’s cramming for a test the next day they’re bound to fail because they just began studying an hour ago and are still on the table of contents in the textbook. Why can’t infomercials have their own channel? QVC has one, why not them? And really if fishing, car racing, and knitting can have their own channel why not everything else?
Why does the city charge you per bag for your garbage? Wouldn’t it be better if they charged by weight? Have little scales on the back of the truck and then bill you per month? Wouldn’t that convince people to recycle more? I mean glass is heavy stuff. Maybe that would stop people at apartment complexes from tossing their old couch next to the dumpster. Do they really think that thing will fit in the truck? Um... no. So then it sits there for ages becoming not only an eyesore but a home for who knows what. Maybe that’s just here, but right now by the dumpster there’s probably an old couch from the early 60’s, two end tables, and a rather odd looking fake tree. Why not give them to goodwill? You already had to haul that sucker out there... at least get yourself the tax deduction. I often wonder if those were all placed there by an angry wife who caught her husband cheating so she put all of his things out by the dumpster.
Why do people do all of their shopping at the convenience store? First of all, they really aren’t all convenient, and second they are so over priced it’s insane. They don’t have carts so these people walk about with their arms full, trying to figure out how to carry the last item with their teeth. They then pay $327 for gas, a gallon of milk, some soap, something from the frozen foods that might have been their since the turn of the century, toilet paper, and various other things. How hard would it be to go across the street to the grocery store? Not to mention that someone has to wait in line behind you with a bottle of pop while some checker needing a smoke break checks you out. It makes no sense to me. I mean I’m all for getting a few things there, but I really don’t think it’s all that sane to consider that intelligent one-stop shopping.
How can people remember an order at Starbucks that’s more complicated than deciphering lost text from some ancient city? I’ve seen people that are ordering one cup of coffee that has 39 steps. These are the same people that then cannot remember what time they were supposed to be at work so they rush out of the coffee house (only after taking that cup over and doctoring even further with various sprinkles of some substance) and then speed past you in traffic cutting you off while they yell at their stock broker on the cell phone. Of course they end up at the very same light as you only now they’re pounding on their steering wheel and honking their horn at the person in front of them. Where do they think this is going to get them? It’s a red light. Maybe we should all just pull over and let them on by because they couldn’t leave their house sooner or make their own damn coffee. Just once I want to be able to give these people a ticket. All they're doing is stressing themselves and everyone else out in order to make it to work 30 seconds faster. Why not just turn on some music and enjoy the drive?
I wonder about a lot. There’s always some random question with no answer running around my brain. I’d love to ask you the questions I wonder about, but sometimes it’s not the right time or place. Sometimes the answer isn’t something I’m ready to deal with. Sometimes I just fear your answer or I think that it’s silly for me to be questioning something in the first place. So I keep them to myself. Some things should be certain like friendship, love, trust, family, and intentions. (When I say "you" I mean all the people in my life, I don't discriminate with my neurosis.) So why is it I feel the need to question everything and perhaps put that the things important in jeopardy? I guess that is just another question for me to think about on my drive to work this morning.
“Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.” – Anonymous
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