Wait And See

With surgery, radiation, and chemo winding down, I can't help but be somewhat reassured. She did very well with her treatments, even if I wish she had taken more time off work than the day after her treatment. Apparently that's the day it hit her the most and she considered the "bad day". In her words, "She just keeps on truckin' on". Perhaps that's the most important thing any of us can do, just keep going.

Thankfully as my mom is truckin' my dad has been a nice backseat driver. He's taken over everything and gone to every single appointment. With the beard he grew when he retired he now looks like a big gray grizzly trailing after her. He's what I'd want to be if I had to help someone through this, and exactly what I'd need if I were in mom's shoes. I'm proud of them both.

Now we wait. The waiting doesn't really end. We'll always be waiting for the next checkup or milestone. There's the first clean test, the first year...etc. However I have no doubt she'll continue truckin', and my dad will be in the passenger seat with the road map.

"Courage is being scared to death... and saddling up anyway." -- John Wayne

Addiction

It's obvious I have an addictive personality. This is why I was a smoker, though thankfully that hasn't been the case for a few years. However, while I can break the nicotine habit, I cannot seem to break the caffeine or silly time waster video game habit.

This is why I was in "Dunkie" or Dunkin' Donuts at some obscene time of night. They have brewed iced tea, not that fake powder crap. It calls me to in all its bitter glory. So you can get a cup of it that's the size of a small Norwegian village for less than $2.50. Just don't ruin it with sugar or a lemon, that will only create seeds for you to accidentally suck up through the straw.

This brings me to my fear of bubble tea. Everyone seems to love this stuff, but it boggles my mind. These little gummy balls come shooting up the straw ready to coke you to death. Yes, even iced tea addiction can kill. No thanks, just give me my giant Dunkie.

So while I was waiting in line I looked over at a little Christmas tree they had on display. The ornaments were little packets of sugar substances glued to paperclips. Of course I went to get a closer look at this work of "art". If you know me at all you know what happened.

It really wasn't my fault! Who puts a tree on a wobbly table and then props it up with a few books? Worse yet, who decorates with little packets that are prone to ripping?

As I sat there sprawled across the floor covered in sugar packets and fake pine needles I looked up to see a lovely young police officer trying not to laugh. "Oh sorry officer, I cannot tell a lie, I did chop down the Splenda tree."

I made it home safe and sound to conquer the digital seas of Puzzle Pirates armed with my tea.

"You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me." -- C.S. Lewis

Snooping

There's something incredibly personal and invasive about condo shopping. We know we want to move to Boston, but we're not sure if buying a condo is a better idea than renting. However, we're learning more and more towards renting. So we've been going around with a Realtor looking at places. I actually enjoy doing this, but Dina would rather be yodeling in the reflecting pool at the mall naked.

What I don't understand about the whole process are the owners of these buildings. Sure most of them look rather nice and the owners clearly made an effort to show the best side of their place. However the exceptions can be almost scary. Below is a list of things that you as a seller should avoid. I've now seen each at and can honestly say it's probably not the impression you want to leave potential buyers.

- Remove the broken air conditioning unit from the living room. While you're at it, get rid of the bucket catching water in the bed room.

- Put the man eating dog/monster in his own room. At the very least give him something to gnaw on other than the unsuspecting home buyers.

- If you had fish for dinner last night, take out the trash. At the very least don't leave the half-eaten carcass on the floor.

- If you have 20+ cats, please leave a window open. At the very least, remove the litter trays in the middle of each room that haven't been cleaned since the Hoover administration.

- Sex toys are fun, and perfectly normal. However, hanging them from a moving ceiling fan is just creepy. Why are they there? Can the ceiling fan even hold your weight?

- Put away the shackles attached to your bed. Handcuffs are one thing, shackles are another. Or perhaps you should limit it to one pair, not 3. Maybe I can introduce you to the person above?

The key to selling your home should really be: Remove things that would make the average buyer cringe.

"I'm not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on." -- Roseanne Barr

Sleepless in MA

I have an amazing ability to ignore or compartmentalize things. It's as if I can turn the lights off in one area and almost forget that it's there. It's not until late at night that I think about those dark places that I've ignored or otherwise refused to deal with. Most do this to some extent, but I think I've taken it to exceptional heights. For me this means that I often don't deal with something until it's too late.

We like to think we're a good person, but I think my above tendency can make me somewhat less than good. I mean if you're constantly closing doors and turning out lights, you'll eventually be rather lonely and living in one room. I've thought about venturing out to take a peak in places I've tried to avoid, but at this point it's been so long I have to wonder if any good can come of it.

Maybe my mom's struggle has made me want to have more people around and chase away this lonely feeling. Perhaps I'm homesick and wishing I could go back to Tucson to be with mom. Maybe I'm just getting older. Either way, it's not going to change tonight.

"Each of us is something of a schizophrenic personality, tragically divided against ourselves." -- Martin Luther King, Jr

Unfinished

I've been randomly poking various online sites to look up people I knew way back when. I think this makes me a stalker... all be it a rather pathetic and harmless one. How can you not feel like a total dork when you say, "Um hi you may not remember me but..." No matter what you say after that, you're looking like a goofball. At least for me this just gives them a very good idea about who they're dealing with. :-p

So this brings me to my total dislike for all that is MySpace. First of all you can't tell who the hell anyone is. I don't want to go about randomly friending people, I want to know who they heck they are. When looking up people from ten years ago and all you can see is "Bob" and a microscopic picture. How do you know who that is? So you have to send them an even dumber letter because you're not even sure who they are. This is why I love Facebook. Sure it's ultra spammy, but it gives me all I need from MySpace, and allows me to be totally lazy and see the WHOLE name of the person I'm looking at. Please all, embrace the lazier site... embrace the site that doesn't make you listen to the random song someone has left up for 7 months.

Time For Change

That's right, a new job! Ah, but this isn't any job, this is a "man, it sure would be fun to do that" kind of job. I'm thrilled really because I can do this job from anywhere. This means I can fly home for nephew time at any point. It also has the added bonus of being rather fun.

I had been lusting after this job in a rather unattractive way. I was almost a bit obsessed and had done quite a lot of extra work to prove myself. Poor Dina had to sit there and listen to me second guess every single thing. I felt like I was walking on eggshells worried that one wrong move would remove me from eligibility.

At least now Dina gets a vacation from my insanity... well perhaps not. But she at least doesn't have to hear me say, "Can you read this over and tell me what you think" for at least a month.

"Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished." -- Leslie Nielsen

Life's a Joke

I clearly learned that joking helps you ease some of life's curve balls from my mother. I know she's worried, but she's prepared to move on through each little treatment and session of chemo rather than worry about the big picture.

So what do we talk about? Our fears? Nope. We talk about what hats she should wear when she doesn't have hair. She's convinced that her head has a funny shape so she'll need something equally amusing. I think bigger is the way to go, but she's convinced it should be more original than just giant. It must be floppy and perhaps have some LED lights in it. So now I'll need to troll the interwebs looking for a hat that's giant, floppy, and blinking.

"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol." -- Author Unknown