Tuesday, February 19, 2008

DE Phone Home

There's a very specific tone of voice a person gets when the conversation isn't going to be one you like. It's almost like they're grabbing the armrest and preparing for an emergency water landing. My mom had that tone of voice, and I immediately assumed I had screw something up. In the past that would've been a pretty good assumption.

Frankly I wish I had screwed something up. That I can be ready for, that doesn't suck the air from your lungs and leave you searching for something to say that either expresses your feelings or reassures. She was scared, something I really haven't heard before that I can recall. I found myself asking the appropriate questions, but really I don't know how I managed.

At some points, my relationship with my parents has been rather rocky. But I'm quite glad to say that isn't really the case anymore, and I actually quite enjoy visits and phone calls. I find myself quite proud of all of us. After that phone call, I found myself even more proud of my parents. I won't need to have a pink ribbon to show my mom my support, I'll be calling and visiting as much as possible to make that very clear.

"Sooner or later we all quote our mothers." -- Bern Williams

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Head Shoulders Knees

It's been 2 years since I hurt my knee and I can't believe how much it can still hurt. Even thinking about running outside to wave to Dina only to step off the stoop onto a tiny patch of ice gives me the creeps. I just keep remember reaching down to grab my knee and feeling it bent the wrong way. I wanted my mother more then than I ever have.

I'm forever grateful that Dina saw me and stopped. Had she not, I have no idea how long I would have been there. But the nice thing is that I know she will always stop. If I decide to have surgery to replace the severed ACL and clean up the joint, I have no doubt she will be there handing me my crutches. She'll bring me some fluffy fiction, chocolate cake, and a ice tea. She'll do this all while holding my hand and making me laugh about something stupid. While I often joke and call her cranky pants, it's so nice to know she's there.

It's been a long time since I felt like the other shoe wasn't going to drop. She's already seen my shoes and gone with me to the store to buy more.

"Anyone who believes the competitive spirit in America is dead has never been in a supermarket when the cashier opens another checkout line." -- Ann Landers