Tuesday, June 16, 2009

You Win Some...

Dear Contractor,

My loathing towards you knows no bounds. 2 days means 2 periods of 24 hours. It does not mean well over a week with no end in sight. A tranquilized lemur could have finished my kitchen remodel in this amount of time. When you arrive to work at 9 AM, you should work until a reasonable time. Leaving at 2 PM every day is not a reasonable time, especially after taking an hour and a half lunch. Saying, "I'm going to Home Depot for X" only to disappear for the rest of the day makes me want to take that exceptionally loud drill you have and encourage it to become acquainted with your truck.

Unfortunately, I know that your truck is currently in the shop. How do I know this, along with way to many details of your personal life? Oh that's right, you're always on your cell phone talking about them. Here's a tip for future reference: When you're dragging your feet on a job, try not to complain loudly on your cell phone that the auto shop is taking their sweet time with your truck after telling you that it will only take 2 days. How you cannot see the parallel boggles my mind. Saying, "It's been a week, that's costing me money" is idiotic considering *you* have forced me to eat out all freaking week.

It also helps if you don't have to hang the cabinets 6 times because you keep booching the same thing over and over. Yes, holes need to be made in the back splash for the outlets. So why oh why when you actually do remember to do it, do you put them in the wrong place? Why do I have to tell you that the drawers wont open? Doesn't it occur to you to check? Who the hell doesn't pull out the drawer immediately after putting it in? I know that's the very first thing I did when building my dressers from Ikea. And why, for the love of god are the doors on the cabinet under the sink at different heights and not flush? Perhaps that has something to do with their inability to close? Please, tell me you're blind or had some of the vast amounts of dust you've been creating in your eye. Because that's the only option other than being a totally incompetent boob.

Sincerely,
A very HUNGRY person

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While the above should have ruined my weekend, it didn't. I had a fantastic weekend. I took Saturday off in trade for a very late Sunday night. This means it seemed like I had Friday - Monday off apart from working over night on Sunday. It's a rare treat that Dina and I have so much time off at the same time.

Saturday was pride here in Boston. So we were able to see Kathy Griffin live. I can't believe how fun that was. I laughed for 2 hours straight and still smile just thinking about it.

Sunday we were able to catch Up in 3D. What a wonderful movie that is. I was particularly impressed that they didn't use any of the cheap 3D tricks like throwing things at you, yet made the 3d really effective. I also found myself a little teary eyed at the movie. Poor Dina was sniffling after the movie ended which always breaks my heart. Dina, unlike me, looks almost cute when crying because she gets these big teary eyes like a 4 year old. I, on the other hand, end up looking like a red faced snot factory. It's really unflattering to see my face contorted and the sniveling.

So while my kitchen is a total disaster and giant headache, the weekend made it seem unimportant. So now while I listen to a screeching saw, I just let my mind drift back to the weekend fun. It's the only thing keeping me out of jail and away from assault charges.

"Um miss, can I borrow something to measure this counter I just cut? I think it's too short." -- My Contractor

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