I wish I may...

When I was younger I used to make wish on a star every single night. They weren’t huge wishes like to win the lotto, but rather something small and secret. I remember wishing for something like the ability to make someone laugh the next day. I know that sounds odd for someone to wish for something like that, but I always thought that a wish should be something meaningful but not so large as it would be impossible for them all to come true. Doable dreams. And what do you know? About 90% of the time the wishes would come true.

For about a year I spent at least one night a week in a comedy club attempting to do stand-up; it was always fun and lent itself well to those little unspoken nightly wishes. I had confidence, I had motivation, and I had the energy to reach out and grab whatever it was I was looking for. Being busy wasn’t a chore; it just was how things were. But for several reasons things changed, and I stopped making those nightly wishes. Now, I’m not saying that those things aren’t still a part of me, just that life changes you, sometimes for the better, but it’s still a change. I wonder how much some of that correlates with me not looking up.

Around October I was feeling lonely for whatever reason. I’m sure we all have those times. So for the first time in what must have been 6 years I looked up and made a wish. I wished for a change and for the chance to make someone laugh. There’s nothing that feels quite the same as doing that. Well I did end up getting sucked back into an online world I had taken a break from for a few years and posting some silly story. I had always had an addiction to online fiction partly because I’m cheap and partly because the library is rather lacking in lesbian fiction. Its weird how life changes, I went from a tad lonely to being sucked into friendships and creativity.

I guess my rather long winded point was to let you know that if you have the chance maybe you too should look up and wish for something small and secret. You may have a walking dream in your arms, or you may have that empty ache that can occur at 3 am, but we all could use a bit of hope. That’s really what it is about, hope. Do I think that the stars have the power to change my life? No. But I do believe that when you choose to open yourself up to the possibilities life can change you. So I'll be out there tonight, I have a few things I'd love to wish for.

Pup-date: The little mongrel has now learned to jump on the bed and couch. I’m not one of those people that insist their dog not ever know the feel of furniture, but I do think I should get first dibs on where to sit. Anyway, she has these little sporadic bursts of energy that leave you wondering if she was on speed. I used to be safe if I just ducked and waited for the blur to settle down. Now, I’m in the path of the tornado. She will launch herself off the recliner right onto me and the couch. This would be endearing if she didn’t always have the remarkable ability to land right on places of my body that object. But for the most part it’s great because when she wants a nap she just climbs on up like a cat and sets up camp on what ever part of my body she deems acceptable. She seems to be a breast girl… that’s my baby!

“Hope is a waking dream.” -- Aristotle