Catch me if you can

If you were to peek into my windows you’d see that about 15 times a day I do an amazing imitation of a matador. It really isn’t my fault. You see everyday I have to play “catch the creature”. That’s right, I have a little ball of fur that runs around trying to play “catch me if you can”. You wouldn’t think it was that hard to catch a little bit of fluff. The problem is that this little thing has legs of lightning. So the only way I can catch her is if I maneuver her into position and then toss a blanket over her. This isn’t as easy as it sounds. I seem to be out witted at every turn. I just know by her little warble she gives me that she is laughing and mocking me.

Don’t let those innocent brown eyes of hers deceive you… she’s diabolical. She follows behind me just to steal whatever it is I leave behind to stick it under the couch. I have no idea why she does this, but just yesterday I found 3 of her toys, two mismatching socks, a paper airplane, the VCR remote (though I’m not sure she was the culprit there), a shoe, my toothbrush, and my keys. When I found them and started picking them up, she looked at me as if she was offended. How dare I pilfer her stash?

The little monster enjoys victory laps around the living room at supersonic speeds. Luckily she only falls every now and again. Her puppy paws haven’t gotten down the concepts of traction or coordination yet. Most of the time she does well on these little adventures… well, until she hits the tile that is. Then she looks like a spinning fur covered top sliding across the floor like Tom Cruise in “Risky Business”.

She has a bark that could rupture your eardrum and these cute little whimpers that guilt me into giving her a puppy treat. And just as an aside, she also likes to eat human hair. How do I know this you ask? Well as I am catching a long overdue nap, I was awoken by a searing pain and a barking dog with a wiggling backside. It seems giving my hair a nice tug is about as much fun as an amusement park. Who needs the Tilt-a-whirl when you can chew on some hair?

You may think I am complaining, but really I wouldn’t change a thing about her. She’s incredibly frustrating and the sole reason that I walk around town with a pooper scooper, but she is mine. She loves to fall asleep on my chest and wiggle when I walk in the door. She’s overjoyed to see me and doesn’t expect things of me I can’t give. She doesn’t need me to be someone I’m not, or judge me by my failures. All I have to do is come home, feed her, chase her around with a blanket, toss her ball around, and let her eat my hair. Seems like a fair trade to me. Well that and the fact that no woman could resist her little face… now to get that to rub off on me.


“You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, ‘My God, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’” -- Dave Barry