Crud...

Today I would have sworn that I was cursed, walked under 36 ladders, broke a few mirrors, and pissed off a testy leprechaun. I woke up to a normal day, until of course I tripped over one of the 3 billion puppy toys scattered about discovering that I’m too old to be attempting the splits. Half crawling half stumbling I made it to the shower... after cursing like a sailor and uselessly admonishing a curious puppy about leaving things all over. Once in the shower I thought I was safe... that the bad luck that loomed couldn’t touch me. I did what anyone does, I began to sing. If you didn’t already know, I’m the worst singer possible... apparently my shower agreed. One second I’m heading into a particularly bad rendition of “Hey Mickey” complete with a little head bobbing action, and the next second I’m being smacked between the eyes with the showerhead that popped off.... That shut me up... until I started cursing once again.

I escaped the shower with my life and started to search around on the back of the toilet for my glasses... I have the vision of a 90 year old. My hand was feeling around on the cold porcelain until I heard a *plop*. I froze.... And cursed. That could only mean one thing.... one disgusting thing. Fumbling towards the sink I managed to find my contacts and put them in. There was no way in hell I was going to go fishing for my glasses blind. I find it interesting that when I drop things into places they shouldn’t be I try to turn my head... as if that will make it any less disgusting. Um not really. At this point the puppy thought it was play time and dared to bring the toy I had tripped on into the bathroom.... TRAITOR!

The fact that I got to work without killing myself was a small miracle. However after almost falling asleep while typing (I’m just getting over that damn cold) I thought it would be better just to head home.... Too bad I lost my keys. So again I was cursing until I found them in the plant beside my desk. If I didn’t get home quickly I was scared that I would cause a major catastrophe... like setting my hair on fire.

Eventually I settled in for a nap. God I love a good nap.... unless the phone rings 65 hundred times. But thankfully my neighbor took the pup so I could sleep. Well that’s what she tells me. I think she just likes having something around willing to watch her “shows” with her. I think at some point I fell asleep... thank god. Then guess what... the phone rang. However at least this time it was a person that I love talking to so it was a much needed bright spot of the day of doom. Just then as I'm finishing my conversation, my dog was brought home... and she greeted me by scratching my nose off. I guess I didn’t need that anyway.

I finally got online later in the evening... and no I didn’t burn the place down making dinner. That’s shocking in and of itself. While chatting with someone I spilled my vitamin water. Crap. Standing up I tried to clean it up... messes by the computer are a big no no. Sadly the floor tends to get rather slippery when wet. So for the millionth time that day I found myself on my ass. This time I even tried to brace my fall.... unfortunately I pulled out half the cords in the puter out in the process. So guess what? That’s right.... I was cursing.

I think a good measure of the day is how often you curse. This one tipped the scales. But really, once I get beyond the moment I can see the humor in it. My sore rear can’t... but I can. So here I am hoping that you can see the humor in your day.... or at the very least you too have a bright spot that you can cling to.

“I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.” -- Elayne Boosler