Sleepless in MA

I have an amazing ability to ignore or compartmentalize things. It's as if I can turn the lights off in one area and almost forget that it's there. It's not until late at night that I think about those dark places that I've ignored or otherwise refused to deal with. Most do this to some extent, but I think I've taken it to exceptional heights. For me this means that I often don't deal with something until it's too late.

We like to think we're a good person, but I think my above tendency can make me somewhat less than good. I mean if you're constantly closing doors and turning out lights, you'll eventually be rather lonely and living in one room. I've thought about venturing out to take a peak in places I've tried to avoid, but at this point it's been so long I have to wonder if any good can come of it.

Maybe my mom's struggle has made me want to have more people around and chase away this lonely feeling. Perhaps I'm homesick and wishing I could go back to Tucson to be with mom. Maybe I'm just getting older. Either way, it's not going to change tonight.

"Each of us is something of a schizophrenic personality, tragically divided against ourselves." -- Martin Luther King, Jr

Unfinished

I've been randomly poking various online sites to look up people I knew way back when. I think this makes me a stalker... all be it a rather pathetic and harmless one. How can you not feel like a total dork when you say, "Um hi you may not remember me but..." No matter what you say after that, you're looking like a goofball. At least for me this just gives them a very good idea about who they're dealing with. :-p

So this brings me to my total dislike for all that is MySpace. First of all you can't tell who the hell anyone is. I don't want to go about randomly friending people, I want to know who they heck they are. When looking up people from ten years ago and all you can see is "Bob" and a microscopic picture. How do you know who that is? So you have to send them an even dumber letter because you're not even sure who they are. This is why I love Facebook. Sure it's ultra spammy, but it gives me all I need from MySpace, and allows me to be totally lazy and see the WHOLE name of the person I'm looking at. Please all, embrace the lazier site... embrace the site that doesn't make you listen to the random song someone has left up for 7 months.

Time For Change

That's right, a new job! Ah, but this isn't any job, this is a "man, it sure would be fun to do that" kind of job. I'm thrilled really because I can do this job from anywhere. This means I can fly home for nephew time at any point. It also has the added bonus of being rather fun.

I had been lusting after this job in a rather unattractive way. I was almost a bit obsessed and had done quite a lot of extra work to prove myself. Poor Dina had to sit there and listen to me second guess every single thing. I felt like I was walking on eggshells worried that one wrong move would remove me from eligibility.

At least now Dina gets a vacation from my insanity... well perhaps not. But she at least doesn't have to hear me say, "Can you read this over and tell me what you think" for at least a month.

"Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished." -- Leslie Nielsen

Life's a Joke

I clearly learned that joking helps you ease some of life's curve balls from my mother. I know she's worried, but she's prepared to move on through each little treatment and session of chemo rather than worry about the big picture.

So what do we talk about? Our fears? Nope. We talk about what hats she should wear when she doesn't have hair. She's convinced that her head has a funny shape so she'll need something equally amusing. I think bigger is the way to go, but she's convinced it should be more original than just giant. It must be floppy and perhaps have some LED lights in it. So now I'll need to troll the interwebs looking for a hat that's giant, floppy, and blinking.

"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol." -- Author Unknown

Bata Baby

The brave new Whirled is now accessible by the public as it's gone into its beta testing phase. While still in development, it sure gives a good idea for the potential of this Whirled. Love live the curd and tofu goodness!

Below is the corner of the Whirled belonging to Three Rings. It's actually their offices so you can clearly see what kinda kooks work there. Who else would have a giant octopus couch, pool table, full bar, and secret room hidden behind a bookshelf?

My Whirled is actually only accessible by friends, so you'd need to join (link in the Notable Pokeables) and friend me. You'll note that even in a fake world, my plants are always dieing.



"It's a Brave New Whirled!" -- Daniel James

Wonder Boy

I have the most adorable nephew. I know that people say that and we all roll our eyes because everyone says this. But believe me it's true. He's almost 2 and is quite possibly the cutest child I've ever seen. He's actually just always so sunny, happy, and more surprisingly clean!

I've decided he's going to be an engineer. I know I'm supposed to allow him to decide such things, but I'm selfish. This kid can figure out anything. I've had to ask him how to turn on some of his toys and he gives me this, "oh your so silly look". Well at least I hope that's the look rather than, "My aunt is a total moron".

I was able to tie my visit to my mom with his birthday. I feel it's my duty to spoil him rotten, which to mean means books books and more books. Unfortunately, there are some horrible children's books out there. What are these people thinking? Stringing together incoherent thoughts does not a book make. No thank you, I'll be buying him the classics. So look out world, make way for my duckling!

"There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million." -- Walt Streightiff

Hair Today

There's a lot of things you're really not prepared to hear. I wasn't prepared to hear that my mom had breast cancer. The big C is something we all fear in some way. Perhaps that's why we really know so little about it. We know it's bad, we know it will change everything, but we still know nothing.

Apparently there are several different kinds of cancer and what kind will determine the course of treatment. I can't believe I ever found myself hoping my mom had any type of cancer, but ever since I found out, we've been hoping it was one kind over another. Suffice it to say, we didn't get what we hoped for really. It could have been worse, sure, but we were hoping to avoid chemo. This means after her surgery there will be chemo and radiation. This whole process will take months and then far longer to recover enough to feel "normal".

So I can only hope that her treatment goes well and that she doesn't experience some of the side effects. I could care less if she has no hair, but it's everything else that worries me. I'm glad I'm going home soon just to reconnect so I can feel a little more secure in everything. It will also be nice to show mom that I'm only a flight away.

"Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow." -- Dan Rather